Breastfeeding. I have been wanting to post about this for a while now but haven't really known what to say. It is SUCH a hot topic for people and I just haven't known what to say. But I just decided this is my blog, my journal. I need to write about what I am really thinking and feeling. This will probably be a ton of rambling because my thoughts are super jumbled right now. So if you continue reading, good luck.
I have really been struggling with it a little bit lately. I don't know how much I like it anymore. I know, it is the best thing for my baby. I get that. But formula is fine for babies too. Lucky for me Jackson isn't too sensitive and can drink the cheaper formula. But breastfeeding is free. To me, that is a huge plus. We are trying so hard to save money right now but it feels like we just can't. So I almost feel like I would just be adding another financial burden if I switched to formula.
Then there is the topic of bonding. I feel super bonded to Jackson. I don't think that is just from breastfeeding. He has a great bond with Juston, and he clearly isn't breastfeeding Jackson. I do love snuggling to feed, but that doesn't even always happen anymore. Jackson is SO wiggly and aware of everything now. It is sometimes a fight to get him to focus on eating.
Then there is the issue of amounts. I have no idea how much Jackson is eating. Lately I have been wondering if he is getting enough. I feel like with breastfeeding you never really know the answer to that. With formula at least I can monitor how much he is eating.
I know a lot of this makes it seem like I am really just over breastfeeding. Maybe I am. I don't really know. I do like it still. I think I mostly like it in the mornings and at night though. I have been thinking about dropping to just those feedings. I have been toying with the idea of just pumping but I don't really want to do that. I haven't ever really been a fan of pumping and only do it when I have to. I just don't really know how I feel. I feel like once I choose to stop there is no turning back so I have to really be sure with my decision.
I think part of what is holding me back, and I know this is really stupid, is feeling judged by others. So if you have a judgmental thought....just don't say it. I don't want to hear it. I know this is 100% our/my decision. I just really needed to write it down and vocalize some of my thoughts. Juston and I have had a lot of talks about this lately. I just feel really torn. I don't really know why I feel like I HAVE to keep going. I know it will be ok if I stop, or even just stop the daytime feedings.
Other moms that may have been through this - how did you decide when to stop? Whether it was at 3 days or 3 years. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
6 comments:
I stopped breast feeding Kenneth when he was almost 4 months. He just wasn't getting enough food anymore and I started supplementing to help his weight improve well when we did that he no longer would nurse for me. So then I started trying to pump and got almost nothing out. It started getting better. But there wasn't enough time in the day. At least for me to feel sane too to pump and take care of Kenneth. It was a tough decision, but seeing him happier made it easier for me.
I do plan to nurse with our next one and hopefully make it lots longer then I did this time. :) But if you're not really happy with it try cutting back a couple feedings. From my experience though pumping is a lot harder then nursing.
I am probably the worst when it comes to this topic. My first baby could not get enough from the get go. I got a breast infection that was horrible so my experience was less than pleasant to say the least. I felt like people judged me to for giving up all 5 times I had a baby but you know this is your desicion don't worry about anyone but you. You are a good mother and you know what is best for you and that beautiful baby boy. Good luck your the best.
oh man. i stopped when faye was almost 9 months old and it was a HORRIBLE TERRIBLE STRESSFUL DEPRESSING 9 months. breastfeeding was so hard and i was supplementing the WHOLE time. no one told me- "lindsey it's ok to stop and relieve yourself of the stress." i felt so much pressure to keep going. I WISH someone had let me stop and be a happier, NOT stressed mom during that time.
i think if it's easy and you love it, keep going as long as you want. but if you don't it's ok to stop and we should all just support each other. isn't it silly that we take into account others' judgements when making the right decision for our OWN family?? crazy.
love you, you will do fine no matter what.
I know exactly how you feel about being judged by others! I was so afraid when I stopped nursing at only 4 months because I was so afraid of how much grief I would get. I was also afraid of feeling like a bad mother because I didn't enjoy nursing even when it took almost an entire month just to get Ellenor to nurse.
When I finally did make the switch I was much happier. I started feeling like me again and was just a lot happier in general. Do what you feel is best for you and be confident in your decision, don't feel ashamed either way. You are his only mother and only you know what is truly best for him. You are a good mom, good luck!
old mom piping in here, ha ha. I nursed all five of my kids. Most of them I nursed from 9-10 months. One of them only for 3 months--because this child got teeth at 3 months! I couldn't take the biting anymore, ha ha, and that's pretty much when I decided to stop with all of my kids, when they started biting. But really, my advice is to start supplementing with formula so they get used to a bottle, it's he-- if they won't take a bottle! Or....nurse longer, 12 months, and wean straight to a cup.
When you stop is completely up to you! Most doctors say babies will get the most benefit from nursing for at least 3 months. You can still have that same bonding time if you gave him a bottle and held him tight.
I nursed for so long because, the same as you, it's free!! And I never had a problem producing enough milk.
So now the hard part....deciding what to do! Good luck, I know you'll do what's best for you and Jackson!
I stopped feeding my little jack at almost 6 months. He was practilly the size of a 1 year old by then. He was super active and would not hold still long enough to eat. It was so stressful! Then one day I thought to myself..."why are you doing this to yourself?" It's not fair to your baby to be super stressed and haggy all the time. That day I stopped and it literally mad a world of difference. Every baby and mama is different. You have to do what works best for you. No one else can decide that. You'll be a great mom either way!! Good luck!
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