Trial Run

After blogging last night I realized I needed to at least try some sort of change with feedings.  I still was feeling really torn so I didn't know how/what I was going to do.  Today started out somewhat normal.  He woke up a little later than usual - at 7:30 as Juston left.  I got him up, realized he had peed out his diaper, changed him, and started to feed him.  I really do love the morning feeds.  He is still so calm and cuddly.  It isn't a fight to get him to focus and eat.  However, he quickly fell asleep.  I don't think he was actually ready to get up at 7:30, I think he just didn't like being soaked.  So we slept for another hour or so (I did not want to risk moving him back to his bed and waking him up or not being in the room when he woke up - he would roll/scoot right off the bed).  Anyway - when he woke up we went out into the kitchen so I could eat breakfast and get my day going.  Of course he was hungry again so when I got done eating I went to feed him again.  When we got done I went back out to start getting things done.  About an hour or so later he seemed fussy/hungry AGAIN.  Three times in just a few hours.  Needless to say, I wasn't exactly into the thought of spending 45+ minutes feeding him again.  I decided to try formula (he's had it with rice plenty of times but only really at dinner time when we aren't home).  I decided it was as good a time as any to drop one feed.  I figured if I decided I wasn't ready I could add it back.

I made the bottle and went and sat down and gave it to him.  And you know what, it was REALLY nice.  I wasn't stressed about it.  I didn't worry if his wiggly-ness was making him not get enough.  I didn't worry about how long it was taking (I let him feed himself for a little).  It just felt better.  Plus, when it came time to nurse him again later I felt better.  I was more ready for it.  I didn't feel like I had been laying on the bed trying to get him to eat the entire day.  It was nice.  Yes, maybe I decided to pull the plug more out of emotions than anything today.  But I'm glad I did it.  So far thinking rationally about it has gotten me nowhere.

I think I will continue giving him a bottle a day.  Eventually I might make it more.  I will definitely keep the morning and night feedings going for a while.  I think they are good for both of us.  But for now, I feel good about dropping the one feed.  I feel like a better mom already.